10/22 will always be a day of remembrance and reflection for me. 

On this day 2013, my math teacher tragically lost her life. Only two months into freshman year, my main focus was trying to figure out how to get from my A block Math class to B block Gym class in under 5 minutes. I was excited for high school… Janelle had her license so I didn’t have to take the school bus anymore and I made the Varsity volleyball team so I was very excited for the fall sports season – these were the big things back then. 

October 21st 2013… I remember we had a volleyball scrimmage and then I went to a friend’s house so we could watch the new episode of Pretty Little Liars together. Before the night ended, Tweets began to circulate saying that one of our classmates had gone missing. It was all so strange. We wondered if this person was okay but then we reminded ourselves, nothing ever happens in Danvers. It’s a small town. Everyone knows everyone. How could anything ever go wrong? 

I remember the next morning, my mom woke me up to tell me school was canceled. I remember a brief wave of excitement, thinking it was a snow day, only to remember it was October and there was no way this was possible. I remember asking her why and she told me the individual who had gone missing was linked to a homicide that took place at our school. (This is my attempt to share minimal details because they are irrelevant to the greater message here but it is also my attempt to provide context for those who may not know). I remember asking her “what’s a homicide?” but the truth was I already knew. This question was only filler for me to attempt to process what had gone wrong. Tragedy struck our small town and rattled my small world. There’s no way this could happen in our town? It felt like something you only ever saw in the news but never imagined it would happen to you… 

Instead of sitting in front of the TV, watching the news, desperately waiting for Danvers to pop up as a listed snow day, our town was the only headline on the news. I sat on the couch with my dad and sister when they confirmed Ms.Ritzer had been a victim in the homicide. It felt like a nightmare – a nightmare I so desperately wanted to end. We all just sat there in silence… until it quite literally became the talk of the town. Everywhere you went, you could hear background chatter about what had happened. Until eventually it felt like the background noise was being amplified and there was no way to turn it off. There was no way this was real life. I thought to myself many times, make it stop. Yet, the collective confusion and denial as a community made it easy to lean on one another. Together, we persevered. 

14 years old at the time, this became my first encounter with tragedy. It was the first time I learned that anything can happen to anyone. I learned the headlines we see in the news are real – the good, the bad, the ugly. I remember there would be news reporters standing outside on our way to school. Standing there with a microphone they wanted to hear our thoughts, but the reality was we still hadn’t even processed our own. A candle vigil was held and pink flowers in honor of Ms.Ritzer’s favorite color began to pile up outside the high school. People left signs saying “Yay math!” as that was one of her favorite sayings and the surrounding communities expressed their condolences. Ms.Ritzer even had a Twitter account that she would use to post the homework assignments and often used it as a platform to share inspirational quotes (she was clever enough to know we would be scrolling social media when we should probably be doing our homework instead).

On October 5th, 2013, she had shared the quote “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.” After tragedy struck, this quote began to pop up all over my social media. I remember the first time I read the quote… in the moment,  I didn’t realize the origin of the quote, but I do remember so distinctly pausing in the moment and realizing the truth behind these words. In the midst of complete chaos and tragedy, there was good to be found. The good was everyone leaning on one another. We came together so strong as a community, it made me really proud to be where I’m from. Danvers Strong was posted on the walls of the high school, on posters throughout town, and all over the internet. Together, we were and still are Danvers Strong.  

Since then, “find the good in every day” has become one of my mantra’s. It has helped me to heal in so many ways. After Ms.Ritzer passed, I kept a calendar and wrote down something good in every day for a full year. The good ranged from an A on my bio exam (lets be real, it was probably a B) and winning our volleyball games, to the more simple things like sleeping in and pizza for dinner. This practice helped me to develop a gratitude for the little things in life; an appreciation for the mundane (which I now glamorize) and a coping mechanism that would play a major role in my future. 

October 22, 2013 taught me that none of us are immune to adversity. The headlines you see in the news and the stories you see on social media are real. I used to believe “that would never happen to me” but unfortunately the truth is, no amount of shelter can protect you from the evil in this world. The only solution is to protect your peace. Yet I believe we can also flip the narrative… whenever we see an athlete in the news, someone setting a new record, or a musician chasing their dreams, etc. we again think, “that could never be me.” But the basis to these individuals and their accomplishments is that they chased their dreams – and that could be you too. Your dreams don’t have to be large scale, ground breaking, or earth shattering, but they do exist for a reason. Chase them. Don’t sit back. Don’t watch. And don’t wait… make your news headline something great. 

I feel as though I have been able to develop this mentality because finding the good enabled me to realize that all clouds have a silver lining. I always say the worst thing that ever happened to me, (somehow, someway) is the best thing that ever happened to me. My younger self would not recognize my current self, but more on this another time. The point is that tragedy teaches us lessons that become themes throughout our lives. What we learn from one loss, tragedy, setback, etc. is only preparing us for future encounters with adversity. Although the next time we are forced to revisit these emotions, it lessens our fight or flight load because our bodies have been here before. The lessons we learn become tools for our future self. Here’s an example… 

After my sister passed, I had a daily reminder on my phone “Find the Good” where I would take a moment to pause, reflect, and write down something good in my day. I would then add the piece of paper into a giant jar that I had. Sometimes on a bad day, I would open up the jar and sift through some of my entries to remind myself of all the good in my life. Eventually this coping mechanism evolved into a way of life and I realized all of the things I have to be thankful for… there truly is something good in every day, no matter how small. Maybe you even challenge yourself to be the good in someone else’s day… hold the door for a friend, compliment a stranger’s outfit, tip a little more than usual, etc., because I know for a fact, this kindness will return. 

Another lesson I have learned is that with loss, comes gain. It’s the union of opposites. The yin and the yang if you will. I’ve had a lot of loss in my life and there will always be a void, but I have also gained a whole lot of wisdom and appreciation for this life. I’ve learned to be kind always, never take a second for granted, and even though I strive to live a life that is anything but mundane, I do believe there is a lot of beauty in life’s simplicity. There are some nights I go to bed and can’t wait to wake up simply because I’m just excited to live. Like what a privilege it is to breathe, walk, eat, and sleep. I might sound crazy, but that’s just my passion for life – I hope it’s contagious. 

We are here on this Earth to learn lessons greater than what any textbook could teach us and to build knowledge no exam could ever test. These lessons become our toolkit for the future. It turns out I had to learn a lot of these lessons the hard way but I am grateful to have learned them all at such a young age. It has changed my complete trajectory and approach to life, making me grateful for all the times life has knocked me down. Every day may not be good, but there truly is something good in every day; and to me, that makes this a life worth living.