Here I am Living

I want to begin this post by thanking everyone who commented and reached out to me last week after my first official blog post about my battle with cancer. Many messages said how you admired my positivity and strength which I deeply appreciated during this past week since it was a very difficult and long week of chemo, during which I often felt I was staring down death. I cried uncontrollably as I questioned how my life had come to this fight.

Thankfully I have the most amazing support around me, literally, each and every one of you who is reading this, sent me a message, or even just thought of my during their day. With this support, I was able to get through the week and will be able to make it through this fight. I truly wish everyone could experience this type of widespread love because I know a lot of people do not. Because of this, on my darkest days, I keep on fighting because I want to continue to be able to experience life with all my friends and family.

I’m twenty-one fighting a rare presentment of a rare disease and all I want is to know that I will be okay and that I have a bright future ahead of me. BUT, life isn’t like that for anyone. That is what I have had to come to peace with. Even though I myself have a scary disease, it could have happened to anyone, but I would never wish this upon anyone else.

What I have come to realize over the past week with the help of everyone’s kind messages is that I am alive and living and loved and that is enough. All I need each day is to remind myself that I am living and live as “normal” a life I would be living without this cancer to get me through it. I will not let cancer control my mind or my life.

16 thoughts on “Here I am Living

  1. Amazing. Inspired by your strength and positivity!!!! Think of you every day keep fighting the fight and kick this cancers ass 💛💛💛💛💛

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  2. You are truly amazing. It’s a hard fight but I’m a true believer that you were picked for a reason. Love you doll❤️💛❤️

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  3. Janelle, you are the strongest young woman I know. Your strength and determination to kick cancer’s ass will get you through these tough times. There isn’t an hour that goes by that I don’t think about you and your positive attitude. You are my “Sunflower” keep on shining. Love Auntie Anne

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  4. Hi pal. You have this covered. Right from the get-go you set the tone and it has been all positive. Keep up the good work.
    Love
    Grampy

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  5. Please know that we are praying for you and that the love of your church family and friends are with you as you courageously fight this demon cancer.
    Much love, Jennifer, Francesca and Miranda Napolitano

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  6. Janelle, you have no idea how much your strength has impacted all of us. You above all send us such positive energy. You truly are a light of sunshine and I am grateful you choose to share your energy with us. We are all better because of the power of positive you share. You are amazing

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  7. Good morning Janelle, I love reading your posts. You truly are an amazing young women. Your strength and positive outlook are inspiring and admirable.
    We are all here for you, love you and pray for you and your family!
    You’ve got this…one step at a time.
    💛🙏🏻😘

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  8. “You are BRAVER than you believe,
    STRONGER than you seem, SMARTER
    than you think and twice as
    BEAUTIFUL as you’d ever imagined”
    💗Gen

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  9. I keep saying prayers for you Janelle. I think of you all the time and pray that you always keep your strength to fight this. It takes a village and you have an amazing one, lean on them when you need to.

    Karen Mansfield

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  10. Thank you for sharing. We are all praying for you and sending positive thoughts. Oprah says, “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” It is wonderful that you have such great family and friends offering their love and support. Shari

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  11. Keep up the good fight. You’ve got this. I’m a friend of your dads. we were friends when I lived in salem and I still consider him a friend. Hang in there you’ve got this

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  12. Hello Janelle, I am a friend of your Tobin grandparents and also a former teacher of your Dad in elementary school in Salem.
    I visit Barbara and Jim once a month to bring communion. You are always in our prayers !
    I am so impressed by your strength and determination to fight this disease ! You are truly an inspiration for all your friends & family.
    I will continue to remember you in my prayers ! Say hello to Dad for me.

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